Rachel

God doesn’t make mistakes, society does, so listen to me: I may have been born a boy, but I’m not a boy. I’m telling you: I’m trans. 

I grew up in a white, conservative community in the sixties. When I was in kindergarten, my teacher wouldn’t allow me to play house with the girls. She said I could only play with Legos or Lincoln Logs. I threw such a hissy fit that they had to call my mom to pick me up. Everything changed after that. My mom wouldn’t let me have stuffed animals, wear her jewelry, or dress up in her clothes anymore. 

Today’s parents need to have open minds if their children have gender issues. Otherwise, they’re going to have unhappy kids. 

I had a 21-year career in the Marine Corps. I was married at the time, and when I knew my wife would be gone for a couple of hours, I’d close the blinds, lock the doors, and dress in her clothes. It was freeing and satisfying, and I did it to maintain my sanity, even though I knew I would be court-martialed if someone caught me. Eventually, I decided to transition. Fortunately, I had mental toughness from serving in the military. You have to be mentally tough to transition, or it’s going to eat you up and spit you out on the other end.

I have a very masculine face, and when I first transitioned, I was constantly misgendered. I wanted people to see me as a woman, but what they saw was a guy in a dress. It was incredibly frustrating, and I got so tired of it all. After I got top surgery, 99.9 percent of the misgendering stopped. 

I recently had bottom surgery. People ask me what that means, and I tell them,  “Think of it this way: they’re taking an outie and making an innie.”

Before I transitioned, there were times when I contemplated suicide. Most of us who are trans have had that barrel in our mouth. I’m glad I didn’t do it, though, because I’ve achieved everything I’ve imagined. I’m comfortable as I am. I’m living as a woman, and I’m happy, productive, and part of society. My body fits me. I’m finally, fully and completely Rachel, as God meant me to be.